• Tom Brady Ponytail Shot 3
    He’s only human…
    March 8, 2011 No Comments By mjformica
  • kim-kris1-e1297171948540
    Who’s cakes got kicked off stage by Prince?
    February 8, 2011 No Comments By Ryan Spillers
  • clowntowns_kobe_bryan_sports_nba_experts
    Kobe’s New Gay KKK Outfit
    January 4, 2011 No Comments By admin
  • van-exel-e1293741632286
    Former NBA-er Nick Van Exel’s Son Confesses To Cold-Blooded Christmas Murking
    December 30, 2010 No Comments By Ryan Spillers
  • david-beckham-bubble
    David Beckham Sues A Hoe For $25 Million
    December 30, 2010 No Comments By Ryan Spillers

All posts by TheOysta

Moto-Xer Gets Gnar Gnar Facial

This is just one of those rare times where you can’t help but feel both sorry for someone yet still crack a giggle or two.

In Honor of MLB Opening Day 2011…

Possibly the best baseball prank of all time.

4G Times Infinity

“If you have 4G on your phone, does that mean you get $4,000 credit towards monthly payments?”

-My Dad*

*Please note, I made this up. My dad doesn’t even have a cell phone and probably doesn’t even know what 4G means. Over and out. -John

Michael Bay Makes Angry Birds Movie… NOT!

Love it or hate it, if you play the game(and beat the shit out of it like I did!) then you will enjoy this clip. Just think how, if given the game to play during free time, soldiers would never need crew cuts due to pulling out their own hair after 100 attempts trying to hit a microscopic spot on a stone wall to get past a stage with one bird. No pun intended, yet I did give my phone “the bird” on many occasions while playing the game.

Drunk Batman on St. Patty’s Day

It’s been a few years since Batman has been out of work but he still knows how to get his drink on for St. Patrick’s Day and assist the “Quizzler” as they interview the loonies of NYC.

This Is Why You Don’t Mess Around In a Fight!

We’ve all seen the “off the cage running showtime kick” from Anthony Pettis. This post is about doing it all wrong, looking like a clown, and getting knocked the eff out in the process. He flipped right into that blow!

How to properly show off in a fight

“Jersey Shore” scaring hipsters into migrating from Williamsburg to Silverlake!

I was trying to think of something cliche to describe this but I don’t think it needs one. If you don’t know what a hipster is here is the definition from urbandictionary followed by the video.

Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20′s and 30′s that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter. The greatest concentrations of hipsters can be found living in the Williamsburg, Wicker Park, and Mission District neighborhoods of major cosmopolitan centers such as New York, Chicago, and San Francisco respectively. Although “hipsterism” is really a state of mind,it is also often intertwined with distinct fashion sensibilities. Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses. Both hipster men and women sport similar androgynous hair styles that include combinations of messy shag cuts and asymmetric side-swept bangs. Such styles are often associated with the work of creative stylists at urban salons, and are usually too “edgy” for the culturally-sheltered mainstream consumer. The “effortless cool” urban bohemian look of a hipster is exemplified in Urban Outfitters and American Apparel ads which cater towards the hipster demographic. Despite misconceptions based on their aesthetic tastes, hipsters tend to be well educated and often have liberal arts degrees, or degrees in maths and sciences, which also require certain creative analytical thinking abilities. Consequently many hipsters tend to have jobs in the music, art, and fashion industries. It is a myth that most hipsters are unemployed and live off of their parent’s trust funds.

Video courtesy of our friends at funnyordie.com

Phoenix Jones Is A Real Life “Kick Ass”

“Unfortunately, he didn’t catch up with the man who was breaking into Dan’s car.” All that armor must wear his ass down!

I wonder if he has a bazooka in his garage?

Your Thursday Weather Quckie

Is this a porno or weather report?

2011 Came Early

I didn’t quite make it to this point in my New Years Eve. In fact my sock got caught up on a nail on my stairs and I fell about 6 feet to the floor and hit my head on the heater and was “knocked the fuck out!” I didn’t even get to get my crunk on or get a New Years Kiss. We want to hear YOUR funny NYE stories here at clowntowns!

The aftermath…
blood