An Email I Received

I came across this one time Googling random shit when I was bored at work.  Thought you guys [Jaden and Renny] might appreciate.  The guy kinda looks like you Renny.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/512629/how_to_be_awesome_5_tips_for_being.html

This is the funniest article I’ve ever seen! Please read it haha!

How to Be Awesome: 5 Tips for Being Awesome

Do Awesome Stuff! Say Awesome Stuff! Be Awesome!

By Trent Sandusky, published Jan 07, 2008

Published Content: 120  Total Views: 181,004 Favorited By: 17 CPs

Yeah, this guy is being awesome… NOT!!!

So you want to know how to be awesome? Being awesome isn’t easy–it’s not like your mom. If you want to be awesome, you have to do awesome stuff. And I mean constantly. I’ve developed this five-part guide to help you get started being awesome and doing awesome stuff.

1. Make Fun of People. And when I say “people” I actually mean any person, place, or thing that is innocent and defenseless. Don’t make fun of a cop, because he’ll probably shoot you. Don’t make fun of your brother, because he can probably beat you up. Don’t make fun of dragons because they know how to use magic. And don’t make fun of the president because he’ll probably tell a cop to shoot you.

Instead, make fun of old people who can’t poop right, inanimate objects, or your mom’s face. For example, “Hey, tree! Nice branches, you idiot!!! They look pretty much gay to me! Ha ha ha ha ha!!! What a stupid tree!”

If you can assert your awesomeness upon helpless arbitrary victims, you may already know how to be awesome.

2. Say Awesome Stuff. If you want to know how to be awesome, you’ll have to know how to talk awesome. Examples of some awesome stuff to say is like “In your face, jerk!” or “Yeah, too bad you’re not as awesome as me!” Study the scripts below to get a better idea of how to say awesome stuff.

Your Lame Friend: “Hey, want to go talk about our feelings?”
You: “Yeah, I’ll talk about feelings with your mom. While I’m doing her… in your face!”

Your Math Teacher: “Did you do your homework?”
You: “No, I was too busy thinking about how stupid your face is, b*tch.”

Your Mom: “I’m going to take away your PlayStation if you don’t mow the lawn.”
You: “I’m going to take away your mom’s face if you don’t shut up and leave me alone.”

3. Be e-Awesome. The internet provides endless opportunities to do awesome stuff. If you want start being awesome, you have to do awesome stuff online. Because if you know how to be awesome in cyberspace, there’s a good chance you’ll succeed being awesome in real life. (Or IRL, as is the parlance of our times.)

Join forums dedicated to botany, horses, and online role playing games; then post stuff like LOL U GUYS R GAY!!!. If they try to defend themselves, go back and post it again with more exclamation marks.

You can also post awesome stuff online; like a movie about eating chips, or an article about Spaghetti-Os. Or write a half-assed article about being awesome, and make free money by tricking people into reading it.

4. Get Tons of Chicks. And then dump them with awesome lines like “You’re fat” or “Sorry, but I don’t date Communists.” If you have a revolving stable of hot babes in your life, you’re probably being awesome.

Just make sure to make out with them in front of their parents (or your b*tch math teacher) before you dump them, because that’s a great way to use women in your scheme to be awesome and do awesome stuff.

5. Fireworks. Irresponsible use of pyrotechnics is clinically indistinguishable from being awesome. Enough said.

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