Joe Buck has a new live show on HBO and it looks like its gonna be a bumpy start!
Sample quotes:
“Joe, TMZ is your favorite website? What’s your second, suckingcock.com?”
“You think I care about you smoking a cigarette after what you just laid out here?” Buck said, leading Lange to say, “Fuck it, let’s do it bro” and lit up. “No, don’t, please!” Buck said. “Say what you mean!” Lange said back.
Like things weren’t getting a little ridiculous with Paris Hilton’s “hit” single. Now, the world’s biggest toolbag, Spencer Pratt, unveils the most retarded song I’ve ever heard: I’m A Celebrity (Get Me Out Of Here). I’m personally speechless! In fact, I’ll be putting my newest song/video together…see ya in 2 months!
Please feel free to leave your disgusted comments below!
It appears our friend who assumes the identity of “Romance” has been living two separate lives. By day, a Los Angeles accountant…by 10pm eastern time/7pm pacific, he assumes the role of Sasha, a 27 year old contestant on ABC’s hit reality series ‘The Bachelorette’. ABC has him listed as an oil and gas consultant from Tiki Island, TX. We think NOT!
Apparently, there was absolutely NO alcohol allowed on this boat HA! Notice the eyes on each of them:
Steph #1, wow 3 shots of whiskey and 2 margaritas in an hour will do that to ya.
Captain Dan, what eyes?? He’s a pro at hiding his bloodshot eyes from the snapshot.
And look at Steph #2…so innocent, yet so anxiously proud to be caught acting naughty and…cupping Captain Dan’s junk? What kind of boat is this? Sounds like the Minnesota Vikings touted this trip.
Look closer…is that a neck or a chin? OUCH!
…and where was the Stephs’ roommate in the meantime? She was pirating (yes a verb, use it and love it!) in the back of the boat, hammered!
Get him out of the driver’s seat!! Saving the best for last: loose tongue, lazy eyes, happy-go-lucky Captain Dan ‘Yon’ McNugen is hammered.
I know this video is old-school, but it’s a classic excuse for a good clowning. A few things here:
Look at the intro…they actually think they’re “the coolest”. WAF!
What the f$ck is up with the Jim Carrey-wannabe on the left…he uses the most exaggerated, over the top facial expressions and head gestures I’ve seen on an Asian!
The kid in the background doesn’t move once! A sign that this has unfortunately been rehearsed a few hundreds times too many.
Note, the Boy Band lifestyle is dangerous…the kid on the left actually has a cast on his wrist (which he uses as a mic in the next rehearsal).
My final question here is, are the HJ’s done before or after the performance? Wet or dry?
Britain’s Got Talent has historically been based on fakeouts, where everyone assumes a contestant will be horrible…then dramatically wrong. First, the hideous Susan Boyle and now (no makeover needed) 24-year-old Welsh waiter Greg Pritchard. Pritchard comes out to the crowd with the rocker-boy image sporting the guyliner, crazy rocker hair, and black pleather only to sing higher than a pre-pubescent singing ballerina.
Simon Cowell and the judges were awe-stricken…we’re not impressed. Personally, we think his voice is queer as f$@k!
This year Mother’s Day will be special. Five months later, Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake retired the dick-in-the-box routine for this one and put on a one-of-a-kind Mother’s Day performance. If you liked the SNL “Jizz In My Pants” or “I’m On A Boat” then you gotta check this out.
This is a pretty amusing, extremely entertaining display of lip syncing. Mili Vanili should take a page from this little divo’s book! We can’t quite put a finger on our expected future of this little guy. The next American Idol? The next America’s Got Talent winner….or perhaps the next:
Disclaimer: This is not shallow, it’s just brutally honest.
Joakim Noah
His father, Yannik Noah, was a legendary tennis player and rock singer. His mom, Cécilia Rhode, former Miss Sweden and world renown sculptor…and yet, instead of a mix between a rock star and former model Joakim looks like skinny, homeless, Samoan monkey.
Pau Gasol
Remember, Pau was traded over from the Grizzlies, where he played power forward and mascot. Pau is also the inspiration behind Geico’s successful “Even A Caveman Can Do It” campaign.
Dirk Nowitzki
The Dallas Mavericks’ TV ratings are down…is it because Avery Johnson was canned? Or is it the unpleasant experience of seeing a hideous 7 foot creature with abnormally deep eye sockets run up and down the court for 3 hours.
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